30 Days
by Disastorous Logic
Summary: Jim has 30 days to live. This is each day as they pass. Rated for language, and future possible violence and sexual themes. My first, and possibly only, story. Will be updated one chapter per day.
1. Stars

"Jim, wake up."

The captain stirred on the bed, slowly waking to a consciousness. He groaned in pain as his head throbbed. Jim opened his eyes only to close them instantly against the bright lights.

"Godamnit, Jim, get up." Bones glared at him, a tricorder in hand. "Stop being such a baby."

"Love you too, Bonsey." James T. Kirk slowly opened his eyes this time, squinting against the figure before him. McCoy was frowning in frustration at his patient, waiting fr the captain to become fully responsive.

"Jim, we need to talk about some of the test results."

"Can it wait until I'm cleared to leave so I can pretend there's something more important than you going on and on about how I eat too much junk food?"

"Jim, we really need to talk. This is serious." Kirk looked up at his best friend in concern at him not responding with his own part of the play-fight. Instantly his face dropped as he fell into a somber expression. When Bones used _that_ tone, something was wrong.

"What did I fuck up this time?" It came out as a sigh, but already his stomach was churning and twisting.

"Do you remember that the last time I had to put you together there was something I wanted to run some more tests on? And how you escaped before I could? Well, while your body was recovering from your latest stunt, I went ahead and took some blood tests."

"Okay…"

"Jim, I'm not going to beat around the bush, you have a certain type of evolved cancer. Even if we had caught it when I noticed something last time, there wouldn't of been anything we could do.

"You have roughly a month by my calculations. Usually there aren't any big symptoms until your body actually starts shutting down, which is when there's usually only 5-10 days left. So, well, I guess you could consider yourself lucky… ish."

"Cancer?" Jim rolled the word around in his mouth absently. What was this word, and why was it coming from his mouth? McCoy watched him grimly as the blonde captain pulled inward to himself. The two stayed completely still in silence for a few minutes, but it felt like ages. Nurse Chapel looked over at them, frowning, but refrained from asking if everything was okay.

And then Kirk looked up, appearing absolutely normal, with a smirk and said, "Well, it seems like I have a lot of living to get in then, huh?"

"Dammit, Jim, this isn't a joke. You are going to most likely _die_ by the time a month is up. You are going to become more tired as your body fights against this anomaly, you're slowly going to have a hard time running, jogging, walking."

Bones slapped his hand down on the bed in frustration. "You're going to get to the point where you can't stay awake, and then your body is just going to start shutting down. One day it is just going to decide that it's done fighting and it's going to just STOP."

"Bones, Leonard, I wish _you_ would stop. Okay so, sure, I only have a month to live, but I… have more time than some others? I don't know. But whatever. If it wasn't cancer, I'd find some other, probably more stupid, way of getting myself killed." The good doctor opened his mouth to say something, but Jim put his hand on his should as he stood up. "I accepted that I would have to die some time when I became captain. It's just decided to take me earlier than I thought it would."

Jim slapped McCoy's shoulder with a grin and started walking over to the doors, flashing Chapel a charismatic smile. "Don't tell anyone. I'm holding you to it, Mr. Doctor-patient-confidentiality-thing."

"Just get out of here."

"I mean it! I'm off to go do captain things and stuff. If I come off duty and find flowers or some shit in my room or whatever I'm going to come kick your ass."

"Jim…" Bones had raised a hypo and was growling at the man.

"Okay, Bones, I love you man!" The door started closing behind the gold-shirted man. "I love yooooou!"

Nurse Chapel had to turn around to hide her grin at the exchange between the two best friends. Bones shook his head before retreating to his office. Once he sat down it suddenly hit him. James Tiberius Kirk was going to die. And there was nothing he could do. Regardless, he pulled out some data padds and started researching everything he could. There had to be _something_.

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Jim strolled onto the bridge, nodded in acknowledgement at the smiles he received from his crew. Everyone, even Uruha, seemed relieved that he was back and things would be going back to normal. Some of them would never admit it, but it just felt like there was a strange cloud hanging over them with Captain Kirk in medbay.

The shift passed by without any difficulties. Kirk poked fun at Spock, the Vulcan would retort and shoot down whatever 'point' Jim would think he had while still never dropping his fancy talk, Chekov kept Sulu informed on the latest gossip passing through the ship, Kirk signed reports. When it was all over, the captain waved off offers from his crew for him to join them for dinner.

Punching in his code for his room, Jim stepped in and made his way over to his bed. Not even bothering with changing his clothes, he flopped down on the warm mattress. Closing his eyes, he went over the day's events.

So it turns out he has some weird mutant version of cancer. Great. He only has about a month to live. Even better. Hell, why don't they just throw a damn party at how just fan-fucking-tastic this all was. Because the universe had some strange obsession with Jim Kirk, he couldn't have one moment of his life without feeling like the next second would be his last.

_I'm going to die? I'm going to die. Oh God almighty, I'm going to die._ After saying the same sentence in as many different voices, languages, tones, and ways as he could think of, the man decided that it sounded stupid and dramatic no matter what. And lame, it sounded really lame to him, too.

He opened his eyes to watch the stars pass by his window. Little points of light, suspended in time as they made their way pass them without a second thought. He couldn't help but wonder if he would be just another star in the universe once he was gone.

Sure, those he was close to would probably remember him. But once they were gone, all he would be was just another name in the history books. Just another person who save Earth. Saved one planet in a very large and vast universe of so many more.

Was he still remembered if all they remembered was his name?

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A/n: Hello, everyone. Thank you for deciding to read my story. I'm going to be straight and upfront: I may not always write the longest chapters, or the best, or whatever. I will, however, promise to update everyday for 30 days. There may be some Spock/Kirk. There will be some friend-bonding between Jim and Bones. I will probably write an epilogue. And I will respond to any review you leave. I hope to begin this journey with you all, and finish it with everyone too.


	2. Friendship

Review Responses:

T'Paya: Thanks. :]

Pamela: Thank you. I'm glad that you're eager to read more, because here's the next chapter!

FelicityGreyson: Poor Jim, indeed. But he's a trooper, so I'm sure it's not going to bring him down too much for too long. (And it is *so* obvious. :])

starfire angel: Thanks for reading.

Crystalflame: I aim to please. :]

angel93: I do hope that this next chapter can match the quality of the last.

Les1: Don't you just love it when a story can do that? It's like you're not expecting to be ready for an adventure, yet here it grabs you and pulls you in. Friendship-wise, Jim and Bones have always made me smile. And, to be honest, I only have a rough idea of just where exactly I'm going. Just kind of writing a chapter each day as it comes. :]

Ms. McKirk: Thank you. And, no worries, the next chapter has arrived.

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James woke up like he normally did. Stumbling out of bed, he made his way over to the automatic shower. He stood in the warm water drowsily, trying to convince his body to wake up. Once he was in new clothes for the day, Jim started off to the mess hall.

After being stopped a couple of times to chit-chat or sign a report, the captain was finally able to sit down for his breakfast. He poured extra milk into his sugary replicated cereal, they never did add enough milk, and as he was about to take a bite Bones sat down across from him.

Jim knew that his best friend probably had tons to say, but they were both content with just sitting and eating silently. There was none of that awkward silence stuff between the two men; they got over that the first time they got drunk together in Starfleet Academy.

But Jim wasn't surprise either when eventually McCoy opened his mouth, looking fully prepared to spout off some set of statistics or something, and Jim was all too ready to be able to smirk as he cut the doctor off with, "Hey, Spock. Wanna sit and eat with us?"

"That would be acceptable." As Spock sat down, Jim stuck his tongue out at Bones as if to say 'Ha! Let's see you talk about it _now_!' McCoy grumbled something about 'green blooded hobgoblins' and shoveled a fork full of eggs into his open mouth. Spock raised an eyebrow, but otherwise said nothing in response.

Instead, Spock turned to Jim. "Captain, would you be interested in a game of chess after the Alpha shift is over?"

"Sounds good to me, Mr. Spock. Maybe you can even help me fight off the good doctor if –when– he tries to kidnap me later tonight to run those crazy experiments he's no doubt planning."

"I don't believe that Dr. McCoy is planning to perform any… experiments on the _Enterprise's_ captain." Spock seemed to scorn Jim for even thinking it, but there was a certain playful twinkle in his eye.

Jim grinned at the Second in Command before returning his attention to his food. McCoy narrowed his eyes at the exchange, but kept his thoughts to himself. Grabbing his plate, the brunette got up and cleared his throat.

"You may have been able to hide behind Spock today, Jim, but he won't always be there to hide behind." And with that, the second half of the best friend duo walked off with a huff.

"Interesting. I wonder why-"

"You don't want to know, buddy." Jim cut him off with a laugh. "So anything exciting coming up in the science department from the plants that we retrieved from the latest away mission?"

Thoroughly distracted, Spock went on to explain how the plants changed color according to the state of health they were in, the position the leaves were in would rely on what exactly the plant would be used for, and other things that Jim couldn't bring himself to pay attention to.

They finished up their meals, Spock and his whole vegetarian thing completely finished, and they made small talk about nothing of real importance on their way to the bridge. It was nice just being in each other's presence.

Sulu and Chekov were already on the bridge, chatting away. Sulu nodded his head in acknowledgement at the captain while the younger Russian waved excitedly. Spock confirmed their plans for chess and then walked over to the science station and reviewed what had been completed while he was away.

Jim sat down in his chair, and he couldn't help but smile at the thought of it being _his_ chair. He really loved his chair. After ensuring that everyone on the bridge was moving in the right direction, he started going over reports that had been piled up while he was in medbay recovering.

Uruha walked in silently, smiling at those who looked up, and made her way over to her own station. She nodded in response to something the crew member before her shift said and turned towards Jim in the center.

"Captain, I would like to remind you that you have a check up from Admiral Archer today at 0900."

He raised his head from the padd before him, giving her his attention and nodded. "Thank you." Admiral Archer had been the one to check up on the _Enterprise_ the most. Apparently he caught wind that Scotty was head of engineering and t appeared that someone still had a grudge about a certain beagle. Even if it did show up. Eventually. In the men's restroom at the academy. So the Admiral was looking out for anything that could be used to bring the lovely flagship of Starfleet back down to earth.

But Kirk wasn't worried too terribly much, since there didn't seem to be any real problems between them. As long as Jim didn't laugh about the beagle incident, Admiral Archer didn't attempt to send telepathic messages of hate through the screen. It all worked out pretty well.

Everything passed by fairly easy. Admiral Archer informed Kirk that they didn't have any official mission yet except to keep doing what they were doing. Which was pretty much running tests on the plants while floating in space. Whee. It wasn't long until it was time for lunch.

Jim remained in his chair –his lovely, darling chair– and work through the reports. Apparently there were reports on reports on injuries that captains sustained. And then apparently the ship had some weird readings in the central unit when he came back, but then when they went to check for the problem they found none. Which was curious, but Jim couldn't get over the fact that he had to write a report on nothing.

Yeoman Rand approached him to asked for a couple signatures, but that was about it when it came to socialization. After lunch, the day continued just as quietly as the morning half. Jim found himself wondering if this was what he was going to be doing until he died. Filling out reports, forgetting to eat, and just lazily floating through space.

With a sigh, he got up and stretched. He checked the time only to see that he had gone over shift by 30 minutes. Spock appeared to be waiting for him to finish, the Vulcan seemed to be running scans but otherwise nothing too important. Catching the movement from his captain, he tapped in some commands and nodded a goodbye to the science officer waiting for his shift to start.

After a quick dinner, they both decided on soup, the two made their way to Jim's quarters for chess. Kirk had been glancing around to make sure McCoy wasn't going to pop out and grab him, so he let out a sigh of relief at being safe in his own room. Spock made his way over to the board and set up the pieces while James poured some water into two different cups.

A playful banter between the two began, Jim claiming that he was going to kick the Vulcan's ass and Spock claiming that it was illogical for the captain to make such 'foolish' claims that held no factual ground. It was Spocks turn when Jim decided to ask Spock a question.

"You know, we've been playing chess almost every night for almost half a year now."

"Six months and 18 days."

"Yeah, six months and 18 days," Jim grinned. "But I'm curious to if you think of me as a friend."

"What exactly is a friend?"

"Well, it's someone who you don't mind spending time with and someone you trust."

"Then… yes. I do consider you a friend. Check mate."

"Aww, fuck! I can't believe you won again." Jim scowled at the chess board like it was the inanimate object's fault that he had lost. "So then, when I die will you remember me?"

Spock was silent for a moment before nodding. "It would be thoughtless to forget who my captain was."

"I don't mean just my name. I mean, like… I don't know! I mean, will you remember me or will I just be another name that you have added to your memory?"

"To not remember your name would be difficult." Jim had a feeling Spock was teasing him with that and grinned slightly.

"Alright, I think it's time for me to go to hit the sack." An inquisitive eyebrow went up. "Oh, you know what I mean. I think it's time for me to go to sleep."

"Goodnight, Jim."

Spock made his way over to the door and paused.

"Captain?"

"Yeah, Spock?" Jim turned around from where he was pulling his night clothes out from a drawer.

"I would remember you."

"Thanks Spock." Jim watched the Vulcan walk out of the room and the door swish shut behind the retreating form. He let out a sigh and went into the bathroom to changed and brush his teeth before going to bed. One day was already gone and used up, and he couldn't keep his mind from wondering just how many days he had left to 'use up'.


	3. Lunch

Review Responses:

gowvan: Thank you. :] I'm basing this off a personal experience, so I'm trying to figure out just how exactly each character would respond to that experience. You also have to remember that if Starfleet caught wind of this, they may try to say that he's not fit to be captain. Which, in my opinion, is kinda the worst thing that could happen to Jim, second to practically everyone dying. Your review was greatly appreciated, it's lovely being able to see through the reader's point of view.

starfire angel: Here's to hoping it gets even better!

angel93: Thanks. And wouldn't that be nice if everything could just come together like that? Hmm.

Siriusly Loopy: Spock's always been a favorite of mine, so I'll join in with your 'Aww, go Spock'-iness. :D

T'Paya: I know that I want to be able to live on even after I die, I figured Kirk would too. He may have a strong personality, but I think he'd still have those insecure moments about the future.

OceanTiger13: Haha, Jim does that a lot, ne?

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The beeping of the alarm Kirk had set was left to itself. The captain was already gone by the time it decided to wake up. So there was no one around to notice how that after a couple seconds more of the beeping, the room became silent once again.

Elsewhere on the chip, a certain captain was in the gym. Sure, Bones would probably yell at him –most likely going threaten to him with hypos, too– later for it. He'd probably complain that he was wearing out his body when he needed to rest more or something like that.

But to be honest, Jim _really_ needed to beat the shit out of something right now. He wasn't exactly mad at anyone, unless you counted the universe, but he had some built up anger and there wasn't exactly any away mission that involved kicking some annoying world leader's ass right now. And so the poor punching bag was the perfect victim.

Sweat dripped off of his skin, as he completely ignored the rest of the universe around him. So obviously he wasn't keeping track of the time. The electronic voice of the _Enterprise's_ computer came from what seemed like the very walls themselves, "Alpha shift will begin in ten minutes."

The man looked up in surprise before glancing at his watch. With a sigh, he punched the bag again and turned around, making his was over to the turbo showers to rinse off. Once the room was empty, the lights shut off.

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About halfway into the morning, Jim realized a little too late that is was probably a bad idea to skip breakfast. Occasionally it was that voice in his mind that sounded exactly like a more reasonable version of himself, nagging about how stupid not eating was, sometimes it was the guilty part that was afraid of Bones hunting him down and coming after him, but the majority came from the loud protests of his stomach.

A light blush would threaten to show his embarrassment, but he continued to act like nothing was amiss. And he kindly ignored the looks he was getting from those on the bridge, thank you very much.

Unfortunately, the lack of food lead to a lack of energy. So in other words, it took everything he had not to fall asleep in his completely awesome chair. Which, mind you, was incredibly comfortable. How else was one supposed to be expected to sit in it almost all day going on epic adventures throughout space?

And despite his dreadful tiredness, which probably also stemmed from him not being able to sleep last night, James refused to go see McCoy for a stimulator or something to keep him awake. No way was he going to go to the medbay unless he was in two or three pieces. And maybe not even then. Because, really, who needed all four limbs anyways?

So when lunch came up, the captain couldn't run out of there faster. He practically sprinted to the turbolift, and was bouncing around inside of it impatiently as everyone else filled in. Uruha sent him a look as if to say 'stop acting like such a little kid, _captain_'.

And when Kirk got to the replicators? Well, they couldn't get the food on the plate fast enough! But everything was worth the wait once Jim sat down and started shoveling the food –delicious lovely food!– in his mouth. Granted, if he had just eaten breakfast he wouldn't of had to wait as long.

The golden-shirted captain was taking a drink of his soda when a sudden figure appeared behind him. He could feel the dark glare of the figure burning the back of his head, and reluctantly turned around. His suspicion confirmed, Jim jumped up and tried to escape. But when it comes to Bones, no one can escape.

"Godammit, Jim, do I have to drug you, pull you to the mess hall, and feed you myself? Where the hell were you this morning for breakfast?!" Jim opened his mouth, but Dr. McCoy narrowed his eyes. "And don't you tell me you weren't hungry."

The captain closed his mouth and tried to think of an excuse. Unfortunately, he had no alibis and nothing seemed to be worth a try. With a sigh, he admitted to waking up early and going to the gym. After Bones releasing his almighty fury, he brought out a tricorder and scanned Kirk.

"Jim, having you not been sleeping at night, or did you really wake up a couple hours after you went to sleep?" Bones figured he already knew the answer, but then again this _was_ James T. Kirk. Also known as 'The Universe's Idea of a Curveball'.

"Well, I _try_ to go to sleep but usually I just can't keep my eyes close. And then I kept waking up for some reason during the whole night."

"And so you thought 'Oh, hey, since I'm tired and didn't get proper sleep, let's wake up _really_ early and go waste what energy I do have at the gym!' That sounds bloody brilliant to me!"

"No, I thought 'Oh, hey, since I've been up all night and won't get proper sleep anyways, why don't I go and do something productive at the gym!' It sounded brilliant when I thought of it this morning." Jim pouted slightly. Here he was, a full grown man, captain of the fleet's flagship, and he was getting scolded by his best friend like a little kid.

"Doing something productive means working on reports in your office! I don't care what you say, I'm your CMO and I'm ordering you to stay away from the gym unless I've approved of it. And if you need help sleeping, then I suggest you come to be so I can give you a hypo to help you get to sleep." Bones was not amused with Jim's bullshit.

"Bones!"

"Don't you 'Bones' me! I'm your doctor, and what I say goes. If you have a complaint, file one with Starfleet. Until then, you'll listen to my orders."

Jim was really pouting now. His bottom lip stuck slightly out, and his brow was furrowed. "But that would mean I'd have to deal with even _more_ paperwork! I don't want more!"

"Then deal with it. If you want to go to the gym, come see me. If I think you're fit enough for it, you're free to go. Now eat your lunch before I shove it down your throat."

Bones sat down in his normal seat across from Jim, and the blond sighed in frustrated defeat. There wasn't a chair in the world that could make Bones any less… Bones-like. This was like the final battle of a video game. The fucker just won't die, and then once he does you automatically regret it because the game'll never be the same again.

But that never meant that you didn't get frustrated with the final level boss. And sometimes they wanted to talk about 'important' wisdom that really didn't matter.

"How have you been feeling?"

"Are you asking as my doctor or my friend?"

Bones gave him a look. "I'm always your friend, Jim. I just wish you'd stop being stupid and just accept that you won't be able to continue living like you normally do. Especially because I want you to hold out until I can find a cure."

"You're really fucking awesome and all, but you're not a miracle creator."

"I may not create them, but you better believe I make them possible."

"Like I said: you're really fucking awesome."

"You best not forget it either."

"Such a thing is not possible of forgetting, Bonsey."

"Don't call me that."

A wicked grin spread across Jim's face. "What? Bonesy?" McCoy grunted. "Bonesyyyy! Bonesy! Why not, Bonesy? Hey, Bonesy!"

"Just go back to the bridge, Jim. And stop by the medbay after shift or I'll come hunt you down."

"Okay, Bonesy."

Reports were filled, plants observed, data recorded, and jokes made. The day continued to pass just like it normally did. Like it always did. The days would continue passing even when everyone disappeared. Because that's just how it was.

Jim was walking through the hallways, as slowly as he could. He paid great attention to all the little skid marks on the floor, the scratches on the wall, and the absolutely interesting noise his shoes made against the floor. Okay, so he was trying to avoid going to medbay, but who could blame him? Certainly not Scotty.

"Capt'n!" Jim turned around to see his favorite engineer jogging towards him and smiled brightly.

"Yes, Mr. Scott?"

"Ye'r not gonna believe it, but Ah've been getting' some strange readings from the _Enterprise's_ central computer."

"What kind of readings?"

"Ah cannae be sure, but it seems like there's been some activity in 'er core processor this morning almost exactly like the time 'fore when it was actin' up when you came back from the away mission." Scotty rubbed his chin in thought. "Ah think Ah wrote a report 'bout it…"

"Yeah, you did. Hmm, that's-"

"JIM! Why the hell aren't you in medbay yet?! Your shift has been over for 30 minutes, and I know that it doesn't take that long to walk from the bridge to the medbay. Get your ass over here _now_!" Jim turned back to the direction he had been walking in and frowned at the sight of an angry Bones.

"What if I don't wanna!"

"I don't care. I'll just assign you to bed rest if you don't get in the medbay before I do."

"Ye best run, Capt'n, I don't think the Doctor's lyin'."

"This is an abuse of power!" Regardless of this declaration, Jim started running down the hall and past Bones. After turning the corner and proceeding down the following hall, Jim attempted to slide to a stop so the doors could open. Obviously he hadn't accounted for the general cleanness that came with being around the medical area.

His shoes slid across the clean and smooth floor and ran smack-dab into the sliding door as it tried to open before the man reached it. Sadly for both him and the door, it was just too slow and he was too fast.

"Oww, that hurt!"

"Godammit, Jim! I don't care if you're dying, don't you go running into my doors! I don't want to have to deal with replacing it!"

"I didn't plan on running into it!"

"Big difference that makes! Just follow me so I can get you some sleep aides." Bones walked past Jim's body on the ground, scowling. The fallen captain got up, rubbed his nose, and made his way after the doctor. After giving Jim some pills to take, and a hypo to the neck for good measure, he sent him on his way.

Already another day gone.

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A/n: I'm so sorry I missed yesterday's post. My illness suddenly got really bad really fast and I didn't have access to a computer at the hospital. But I'm feeling better now, and my mom brought me my laptop. Once again, I apologize. I hope that you guys can forgive me and I'll work more diligently and see if I can't produce two chapters tomorrow.


	4. For the Readers

Dear readers,

To be honest, I am not sure how I should write this. I would not be writing this in the first place if Amethyst hadn't asked me to. I don't understand how half of this works, except for what my daughter's explained to me. So here's my attempt at fulfilling her wish.

For the past few months, Amethyst had been becoming weaker. She was admitted in to the hospital, despite her own objections. Last week, she died to Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. Before I left the hospital, when collecting her things, a nurse handed me a note from my daughter. She left me a list of things to do in case she died.

She wanted me to inform her readers, who gave her joy, that she was sorry. She wanted me to let them know that she would not be able to finish the story. She wanted me to say 'thank you'. And last, she wanted me to post her 'just-in-case' message.

Thank you to all of you, for brightening my child's days. You have no idea how much it means to me.

--Sandy

------

So, hey. I guess this means I finally kicked the bucket. It feels kind of weird thinking that, if my mom follows through and posts this, by the time you guys are reading this I'll be dead. Haha, I'm going to try and keep from being all melodramatic on y'all, because I know it'd annoy the hell out of me if I had to read something like that.

It seems that I won't be able to finish the story like I had hoped. What a pity. I absolutely hate it when stories just end half way through the tale. Drives me insane. So for that, I apologize. However, I feel like I owe it to you all to let you know what happened to me, so that you guys don't worry or anything, and that this'll never be finished. You have no idea how hard I tried to finish this. Any time I was strong enough, whenever I had the time to write, I was working my fingers to the bone trying to get the chapters done. And instead of chapters, you're going to get some lame note from a dead chick. Feel free to laugh, guys, I don't want this to be all serious.

So then I'm off to be just another star in the universe. For every smile you all put on my face, I plan on shinning brighter than the last. As Dumbledore says, I'm finally starting on my next adventure. I hope that there are people just as awesome as you guys in it. Keep on living, guys, you're all amazing.

-DisastorousLogic

(Or, you know, you can call me Amethyst. That works, too.)


End file.
